From the Publisher

Most of us view relationships as happening to us rather than with or even because of us. We “fall in love,” allowing ourselves to be swept up in another person’s passion or power. We pick the wrong people over and over again, missing the “red flags” repeatedly, even if we think we know better. When a relationship falls apart or ends, we often blame the other person, believing that they were unwilling or incapable of making us happy.
It’s often difficult to recognize the active role we play in our relationships, including the fact that we may instinctively choose certain people for specific reasons. Many of us “fall in love” with someone not because they’ve awakened our heart’s desire, but rather because that person satisfies unconscious needs we’re not even aware we have. And most of us unconsciously choose to surround ourselves with people who enable us to reenact familiar interpersonal habits and patterns from our earliest relationships.
We often feel powerless in our relationships because we spend most of our time and energy focusing on the things we can’t control: other people. Though you may currently be feeling helpless or hopeless to change your relationships, it’s empowering to realize that you can, in fact, have agency. We all can. We can all find and create healthy and happy relationships. We can all be the love we seek, regardless of what others do or what’s happening around us.































































































































Brittany SchryversBrittany Schryvers –
Wow, this book is truly incredible. It really shifted my perspective in my relationships with other people. Dr. Nicole provides a powerful guide that breaks down the psychology in a very digestible and user friendly way. I felt my heart crack wide open and the tears were flowing reading Dr. Nicole’s personal experiences. Could not recommend this one more!
Fabio –
I love this & recommend it wholeheartedly!
Jessica –
And I will be reading it again to study it. It is such a great book for remembering how to show up for yourself.
E. Richard –
Got to page 4 and there it was staring back at me, the answer to what I’ve been struggling with and trying to understand for my entire life. ” And to be emotionally connected with yourself you have to be able to authentically feel and express your emotions”. I’m only on page 4 and my mind is already blown, well done!!
lexiradigan1996lexiradigan1996 –
I’ve been following the Holistic Psychologist for a few years now, I love how she explains things, and makes them relatable. She’s the one that got me started my healing and self care journey. I just got the newest book today and am so excited to start it! Thank you Dr Lepera!!
S. Higgins –
In her book, Dr. LePERA skillfully shares her personal journey as a means to teach us about love. Through her insightful explanations, she helps us understand our own identities and provides guidance on making positive changes for personal growth. As someone on a healing journey, I found this book to be both enlightening and uplifting. If you appreciate self-help books that challenge you to reflect on how you navigate life for yourself and others, I highly recommend this read.
Natalia –
I have all of Dr. Laperla’s books, however I waited until this book dropped specifically so I could read them all cohesively (also adhd). I’m only in the first chapter but I’m absolutely blown away. I love Dr. Laperla and have learned so much from her already. I can’t wait to continue learning. Also if you’re an audio/visual learner Spotify has audiobooks and this is now on it. So I follow along as I listen.
Danielle McEntee –
This is honestly the most helpful thing I’ve ever read! Dr. LePera is the most Mothery Mother there is, basically reraising all of us. Every human needs to read this book. I can’t wait to read her others! 12/10 recommend this!
ally –
I am not finished with this book yet, but I can say just from what I’ve read so far that this is a must have if you are in your healing journey. I have become way more self aware about my own struggles with myself and the relationships I have. I highly recommend reading this and taking notes so you can look back on it and remember key points. Dr. Lepera has an amazing way of explaining things and creating a guide to follow. I can’t recommend this enough.
luhkeemee –
I’ve read her first book and went through her second book, the workbook. The first 2 books were amazing, eye opening, and I learned so much about myself! I shared the first 2 with my mom and sister, and they both loved them. The 3 of us got together several times to share and discuss the books and it definitely brought us closer together. With this book, I finished it within 2 days (and I plan on reading it again) and it tied in perfectly with the first 2. Don’t get me wrong, this book can stand on its own if you haven’t read the first 2, but the 3 of them together were absolutely life changing for me, and my mom and sister! I’ve read plenty of self help, but there’s something much more relatable in the way Dr Lepera writes. Her insight and personal backstory hit me in a way unlike anything I’ve ever read. I am incredibly thankful for her work and these books are the best I’ve read, with this newest one being my favorite! I’ve ordered copies of her new book for my mom and sister and I’m looking forward to getting together and sharing our thoughts after they’ve finished reading. Get the book, read the book, it could be life changing for you as well 💛